Our technology editor answers your trickiest tech questions
Social media: Not everyone can be themselves online. Photo: Getty
My mother has starting following me on Instagram and now she’s starting to make cutting remarks about photos I post. There’s a bit of tension because she doesn’t completely approve of my lifestyle.
We’ve always had a nice, close relationship but that has been separate to other parts of my life. Now I feel she’s snooping on me and making remarks and I’m starting not to post things that are part of who I am for fear of judgment and more tension.
— Elaine W
Answer
One short-term measure you can implement is to apply a ‘force unfollow’ measure to her account. This is done by temporarily blocking her and then immediately unblocking her.
Assuming your Instagram account is a public one, she now won’t automatically see your updated posts anymore, but otherwise won’t notice anything different about her own account activity. (If your account is a private one, she will have to request to follow you again the next time she visits your page, which could be awkward.)
But this, again, is very short-term thinking and slightly passive-aggressive, too. If your mother is the pass-remarkable type, this could become a bitter inquiry (“how did that happen?”) all by itself.
The obvious answer is to choose whether you can be yourself online in the face of this familial pressure. The dilemma you describe is obviously a deeper one than just use of social media.
But it’s also a nice reminder that life can be nuanced and layered without a simple, easy solution. Being a different person in the outer world to the one that turns up to Sunday family dinners is hardly an uncommon human condition.
If it’s any consolation, this is exactly what happens to hundreds of thousands of Irish young adults and teenagers every generation.
source